Monday, April 9, 2012

WTF Rant - Hair Care

Ok gang, I'm departing from the usual WTF funny pictures for this post.  I've got a couple of pet-peeves I want to rant about but I'm gonna have to take a little walk through the garden to get to my point. Stay with me here....

First I need to explain that I can't read a word without my glasses. My wife can't see an elephant across the room without her glasses, but give her a book and she can put her nose down to it and read every word. Not me, without my glasses I'm functionally illiterate no matter how close I get something unless it's in type that's maybe an inch or so tall.

Second, does anyone wear their glasses when taking a shower? I don't have any information on that, but I suspect that not many people do because glasses tend to fog up and just complicate matters.

You would think that some of the marketing people at Proctor & Gamble, Garnier, Herbal Essence, etc. would pick up on that. They haven't a clue, which is my first pet-peeve. Why are the words "shampoo" and "conditioner" printed in the SMALLEST type face on their bottles? It's true! Take a look next time you wash your hair. There's about an 80% chance that the smallest type on the bottle label identifies what the product actually is.  Without my glasses in the shower, I can't tell WTF it is. It doesn't help when they print it in white type on a pastel background either. Then they make sure that their conditioner and shampoo bottles are almost an exact match for each other.

Ok, so I squeeze a little out in my hand to see what it is...translucent and creamy...smells like an apple...I'm guessing it's conditioner. Try the other one. Damn, translucent apple! What now? Nothing worse than trying to wash my greasy hair with conditioner. I have to get out of the shower, retrieve my glasses and read the freaking bottles. It's a pain in the backside that wouldn't have to be if the shampoo manufacturers would get their heads out of theirs and print their product descriptions in bigger type or maybe put some sort of picture on the bottle that would help somebody like me figure out WTF the stuff really is.

That brings me to my second pet-peeve, which is sort of related.  WTF is it with women and hair care products? I realize that they can be a little obsessed with their hair, but seriously, does anyone really need seventeen different bottles sitting on various ledges, shelves and hanging wire baskets in the shower? I'm not making that number up...I have actually counted seventeen different bottles and tubes of various kinds of squirt-able stuff in our shower...all of them with tiny print I couldn't read.

I'm a guy. I can see maybe three bottles. Shampoo, conditioner, and perhaps some body wash. Me, I can get by with one bottle of shampoo. Not even the fancy-schmancy herbal stuff. Give me a bottle of Head & Shoulders and I'm happy.  Hell, I can get by with none. Just rub a bar of soap on my head and lather it up. It works. Seventeen is too many. Seriously ladies, it's too many.

End of rant, thanks for reading. I'll get back to posting funny pictures tomorrow.


  1. I am with you on this. When I hop in the shower, it's hard to see tiny letters. I've washed my hair with conditioner dozens of times. As far as the excessive amounts of hair care products women use is concerned, most of us dye our hair, which badly damages it. All those products help create the illusion of healthy hair.